Voices

Life is precious. Our journey is too. Each voice you choose to let in will affect some part of your life. Some people think it’s pride to filter out other people’s voices. I believe it’s wisdom.

In 2015 I made what is now, the worst decision of my life. One that I’ll forever remember. I took a step I really shouldn’t have taken. It took a while for me to see the outcome of the decision I had made. I’m not here to discuss the decision in itself, but the voices that influenced my choice to take such a decision. I take full responsibility for it ’cause ultimately, I made the final call.

“We all have so much control over our lives that sometimes we just don’t know what to do with it, and so we begin to ask others for what they think we should do with such power.”

I’ve realised that everyone will always have an opinion, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but deciding which opinion to consider is often more difficult than we think.

I’ve always had people around me who have my best interests at heart, but you see, one thing I’ve learnt this year is this: Everyone is on a unique journey, and if you ask someone else for advice about what steps you should take on your own journey, don’t expect a perfect answer from them because they haven’t been on the journey you’re embarking on.

When facing a tough decision and you need advice, be careful. Be very careful who you speak to. Sometimes your friends might not be the right people to speak to, sometimes your family may not be the right people to speak to, even the person who you feel always sounds intelligent when they speak may be the wrong person to speak to about it. Not because they don’t have your best interest at heart, but they may not have the full understanding of what the decision entails in order to help. Even if all the experts agree, they may well be mistaken. I once blogged about having different categories of friends when I wrote on taking

Even if all the experts agree, they may well be mistaken. I once blogged about having different categories of friends when I wrote on The Risky Road of Decision-Making, but that may not even help in this case

Two things I’ve learnt from all this:

• If you have the smallest inclination that the voices you’re listening to don’t have a full understanding of the impact of your decision, just go with your gut. I may have been less pained in knowing I didn’t listen to any voice but mine and everything crashed than having to know the voices I let in, brought me such disappointment.

• Stop asking all your friends for an opinion! I believe one of the reasons why I made the decision I made was because I spoke to too many people about the decision ( Yes, speaking to four people about the same thing is a lot for me ). No doubt it was a hard one. I had debated about it for a long while and was running out of time, so I sought external voices. Being indecisive can be a major factor in how many voices you let in. Just pray about it, and if you must speak to someone, be very selective about it. After you’ve heard the voices, ensure it’s your decision you’re going with and not an external opinion.