Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Thoughts

I once gave a talk at a career fair and met an eager young lady who would not let me leave till I scheduled her in my diary for a mentorship chat. It was a few months before we met, but I was encouraged by her tenacity and, boy, she came prepared. She was just getting started in technology and needed all the help she could get. As I sat there listening to her speak, I realised I was getting old, since it seemed like she couldn’t stop talking.

Even though I wanted to help, I started wondering what I had got myself into. I was amazed by her bravery. She knew exactly what she wanted and wasn’t going to leave until she got all the information she needed. She asked me lots of questions. She was really curious and kept talking. She wanted to know how things worked, what to do, and where to go. She had a goal, but didn’t know how to achieve it. She asked more questions when I gave general answers. I gave her advice, introduced her to people, and shared my knowledge. By the time I left, I was very tired, but she was happy.

Many times, we think that speaking up will be harder than it actually is. For many, the imagined cost of speaking up is almost always higher than the actual cost. And we live with the cost in our imagination daily, dying a little bit over time as we keep our insights to ourselves. I’ve often realised that people fear rejection in any form of human interaction. Research has linked rejection with physical pain pathways in the brain. In fact, psychologists say the same pathways are often activated when we are rejected as when we experience physical pain.

When we’re afraid that talking will lead to rejection, we choose not to speak, and if we speak at all, we speak up in an inauthentic way. These choices enable us to hide: giving up our voice masks our true identity and diminishes our uniqueness. Hence, this decision to silence our voice leads to illness, failure and a disempowered life.

Your voice can change the world. Don't underestimate the power of speaking up and making your truth heard

It might seem easier to keep quiet to avoid feeling embarrassed or having a difficult conversation, but this only works for a little while. It’s hard to know when it’s okay to speak up. Speaking up is a skill you get better at with practice. For example, should you quietly tell your teacher something or raise your hand in class? Learning when and how to speak up can make your life better.

If you’re a leader, one important thing you should do is create an environment where people feel safe to speak up. This means they can share their thoughts and bring up problems without being scared of what will happen. It’s not just about telling people to speak up, but also listening to what they say. I was once part of an institution that took pride in giving young people a seat and made young people the face of a youth and young-adults campaign. What I subsequently discovered was that they provided young people a seat at the table but never listened to their thoughts, proposals, and opinions.

The tone must be set from the top, clear lines of communication must be established, feedback must be listened to, and training must be provided.

If you’re in a place like this, don’t be afraid to speak up. Practice it. Speaking up helps you. It makes you feel more like yourself, respected, and confident. It shows you care. You might even inspire others who are quiet to speak up, too.

I often find that people are generally more eager to speak when they are dissatisfied with their current situation or are in an uncomfortable environment. As nice as it is, I’d like to urge you to speak up when you’re happy with the surroundings.

Encourage someone if you believe they have done something successful. Encourage your coworkers, leaders, and peers. Be as quick to speak out about positive developments as you are about negative developments.

I’ve noticed that if people know you talk about the good as well as the bad, they’ll know you’re honest and will listen to your opinions and try to answer your questions more seriously.

The answer you are looking for is embedded in the question you are afraid to ask. Ask a question today.