Free Isn’t Always the Best Choice

Your wedding deal might come with a cake. If you paid for it, you should eat it. Even if you don’t like wheat. Maybe you can go on as many rides as you want at the amusement park, even if you’re sick or have had enough for the day. “All-inclusive” might mean you get some things included, but you also have the right to say no. Sometimes “no” is better than “free”.

Everyone would be better off if they knew why it’s important to say “no” in life. People tend to want to say yes to things, either so they don’t let someone down or so they don’t let themselves down. It can be very hard to say “no,” but doing so more often is good for your general mental health because it helps you set limits, and other standards for your behaviour.

People who can’t say “no” are either too eager to please or think they can do more than they actually can. We have a hard time saying no because we’re afraid of what will happen if we do… Maybe the other person will get mad, feel bad about us, or even leave us.

The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say 'no' to almost everything.

WARREN BUFFETT

We might even feel good about ourselves if we know we’re the “helpful” one at work, with friends, or in a relationship. Our dependability is a big part of who we are, and knowing that people can always count on us makes us feel important. It makes us feel like we belong.

We don’t come into the world unable to say no. In fact, when we’re young, it’s easy for us to say “no.” So, if we have trouble with this as adults, it means we have learned it.

It may have been shown to us by our parents, if they were people-pleasers, or it may have been told to us, either directly or indirectly, that our needs are less important than those of other people.

Maybe you had a strict adult who told you what you could and couldn’t do, and there were consequences if you didn’t follow the rules. Or the punishment could have been more subtle… When you didn’t do what was expected of you, you were ignored and made to feel like you didn’t belong.

In other words, you only felt love when you met the needs of other people. In this way, love was not free. If you spoke up about what you needed, you knew it would be taken away in an instant.

Saying no doesn’t mean you are a bad person; it means you have your priorities in order.

If we don’t say “no” when we really want to, we might escape the short-term discomfort of an argument, but in the long run, it can lead to resentment, constant stress, or even burnout.

People also have trouble hiding the fact that they can’t say “no” by making up reasons that aren’t true. This can lead to a string of lies that can hurt the person in the long run.

We need to learn to take charge of our lives and set limits by learning to say “no” instead of saying yes to too many things that take up too much of our time, energy, and money. The fact that you can say “no” really shows that you are in charge of your own life… It makes you feel like you’re in charge.

Have a great day and say No today